Introducing the Occam Power Mower

 

A TIMELY INVENTION, by WALLY OCCAM’S DAD

It is somewhat well-known that Wally Occam‘s dad invented the Occam Power Mower, but not everyone knows why. The backstory goes like this.

Caught Doing QSD in Class

Earlier this school year, Wally Occam got in trouble in class. It was reading time, and everybody was supposed to read their own book for an hour. Approaching from behind, Mr. McDour caught him pretending to read The Adventures of Macro Polo. Wally had been caught doing QSD during class, and not for the first time.

Parents Called to Principal’s Office

This time the principal promptly called the Occams into the office. He showed them Wally’s QSD sketches, which Mr. McDour had confiscated. “I’m afraid we have a potentially serious problem. Your son is shredding chance on two of life’s largest stages, NFL football and Premier League soccer. But he’s using Occam’s Razor to do the job!

A Big Problem

“Imagine shredding chance repeatedly on an NFL-sized field using a razor. If this continues, Wally might not have time to study for his final examinations. If that happens, he will either have to attend summer school or be held back an entire year.”

The room fell silent. A serious situation, indeed. Wally had been talking about wanting to see Olympus soon after he started reading the Adventures of Macro Polo. The Occams had already booked a surprise vacation to the Timescapes.

That’s when Wally’s dad had an epiphany.

“Mr. Principal,” he said, standing up, “I promise you that Wally will be ready for those finals and that he will pass all of his classes with at least a C average, in keeping with his archetypal status as a perfectly normal kid with no advanced degreees!”

Wally’s Dad’s Garage

Back at home, Wally’s dad went straight to the garage. The task before him was challenging but doable. That Occam’s Razor his son was using was in serious need of a metaphorical upgrade. There would be no time for dinner.

Three hours later, the Occam Power Mower was born, a scalable, state‑of‑the‑art Chance Shredder that could take on all sorts of terrains. Wally’s dad added detachable thrashers, or whatever they call those really wide things that farmers use to cut wheat.

Wally’s First Drive

Since there were no laws against kids driving metaphorical devices, Mr. Occam had Wally practice flying the Occam Power Mower without the thrashers on. It was always "safety first" in the Occam household.

Once Wally got the hang of it, Wally’s dad reinstalled the thrashers and told Wally to finish shredding up NFL and PL grass before dinner, and then get back to studying, “or it’s Summer School City for the QSD Kid.”

As things worked out, Wally finished shredding chance with plenty of time left over. Along the way the Occam Power Mower and him became best friends. From that day forward Wally began calling his dad’s invention Steve.

Wally got passed his finals and even got a couple of Bs. He promised to never do QSD during class again “until they start teaching it.”

Off to the Timescapes !

The QSD Kid was overjoyed when he learned that the family was going to take a vacation to Olympus.

“What airline?” asked Wally.

Without saying a word, the Occams told Wally to follow them to the garage.

What a surprise there was on the other side of the door!

Steve now had a snow plow shovel on his front end, wings affixed to his sides and three cozy bucket seats on his top, each made of genuine pleather.

And that was how Wally Occam learned that his family would be traveling to Olympus with the new family member, Steve, the Occam Power Mower.

Wally took this picture on the way there, just after the Occams flew past Summer School City.